Introducing Ms. Peep Game!

Encouraging Dialogue!! Let’s Keep it Coming

This is what Pops had to say after reading this piece; and, I do think that people who know others, and/or who are themselves homophobic, should review this response. We all have our own perspectives and opinions, and I am by no means interested in changing anyone’s point of view… But we need to be open to hearing what other people experience, as we can only gain true wisdom and insight by listening to one another. Thank you Dad and I Love You for being so TRUE to yourself that you encourage the BEST in me and mine!!!

For those who keep trying to use God as their ally against gays… READ YOUR BIBLES!!! lol

…and this JUST IN!! Is my lunchtime Bible Quote of the day:

“STOP JUDGING BY MERE APPEARANCES, AND MAKE THE RIGHT JUDGEMENT.” (John 7:24)

**chills**

Response from my Dad, via Facebook:

“I read your piece. One important point, from my perspective, is that the homophobe really needs to get alright with his own sexuality. Not mine. But, I’m happy to put a personal face on anti-bigotry messages. Most homophobes are aware, on s…ome level, of their own repressed desires and are seeking confirmation that their efforts to suppress are not peeped. That’s why they bring it up. They want you to co-sign the projection that they are not gay.

I appreciate that it’s important that someone who loves you should also accept me, but the real deal is that you, correctly, can’t love someone who’s not loving himself. And bigots clearly don’t love themselves. That’s why he doesn’t deserve you. But, overall, I love where you’re coming from. Keep writing.”

January 25, 2011

We Are All So Far Away… From What Is Real.

With homophobia running rampant, it becomes more and more apparent that the man who loves me for me, will also have to be alright with my father’s sexuality. I recently realized this when new guy after new guy I talked to made slick comments about gays, faggots, and homos… and instead of laughing along, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise, my face flush, and my jaw clench…

Recently this same reaction was dolled to a very very old friend, who took painstaking time to tell me the story of Marsha Ambrosious new video. First, he asked me if I’d seen it, then he described scene by scene to me, until he got to the end. “Yooo! the dude went and kissed the other dude!,”, he said, in major disbelief. I started giggling, because he sounded so childish, like he had no idea that love between males and females and males and males existed… But once he heard me laughing he got serious. “This is not cool!”, he said, “the media is pushing this gay stuff through mass marketing…”. I listened, amazed that someone I thought was so conscious really believed that the media was campaigning for homosexuality, when really it is as old as Adam and Steve. 

I admitted that even I had found myself suddenly intrigued by watching MMF, bisexual porn. “WHAAAT?!!”, he screached (sounding sooo gay, lol)… “Yah”, I went on, “there are more penises, and they really enjoy each other, as opposed to watching a man fuck a woman who looks like she can’t wait for him to be done as he pounds her into some disgusting submission…” He cut me off there. “NO! no no no… you can’t tell me you are into this… Ooooo nooooo…!” This was really bothering him. 

Then he said the words that would bother me for the next 7 days… and beyond…

“We raising sons, yo!”

“Look, I can’t talk about this anymore”, he said, before I could even make a remark regarding his former comment. But I was heated! 

Everything about me feels that raising sons in an unbiggoted, unbiased manner, will make the world a BETTER place! Gay is here to stay, whether anti-gays like it or not, and since I cannot garauntee which way my sons will swing (although one has already assured me he is NOT into guys), I still KNOW that having an open attitude toward love, will do nothing but encourage honesty and confidence in whomever they are.

I also thought about how me raising sons really had nothing to do with my choices in porn… did it? I mean I don’t watch porn with my kids. Are my porn choices going to inherently effect my current and possibly future children and grandchildren? Then I thought what the FUCK kind of guilt trip is that? I know for a fact this guy is totally into girl on girl stuff… he also cannot commit to one woman to save his life… If he were raising daughters would he suddenly trash his sex addiction and polyamory to save his daughter, or does he know that all of his current choices will effect his future daughter either way?? Hell no. I promise you this just applied to his rationalizing why gay-ness in media was wrong.

The thing he didn’t bother to realize, which PISSED me off, and kicked his bigotted self out of my life for good, … or at least for now… was how this would hurt ME! People like me with gays in our family. Men we love, who are happy and free, so happy, that we cannot condemn them because they show the true essence of love… almost to the point of making you wonder if God is gay, or at least hermaphrodited…He was so caught up in his bigotted right-ness that he missed it.

I realized that his neanderthal type attitude showed weakness. He was not one of the fit. He was not adaptable. He was not able to ride the tides and waves of evolution, natural selection, or God’s green Earth… This place takes acceptance. This world requires more love for you to dig deep past shallow prejudices and LOVE like you never have before. I realized that he is not (at least not at this point) a part of the healing that is taking place on Earth. He - is part of the problem. And he is an artist, which to me makes it even worse, as his message will inherit his own personal bigotry - while that same prejudice cannot see what another artist, or human, has experienced. He was one of the stuck ones. Lost.

I thought about his son. God Forbid. But you know what happens to children of bigots. What will his reaction be the first time his toddler humps, or kisses another boy (many of them do, I worked in daycare and day-don’t-care at that age lol)? It’s like the white parent who implores his chaste porcelain daughter never to go near a black man, meanwhile as soon as she gets from her father’s sight she allows a gangle of them to penetrate her all at once…

Your prejudices will not only eat you up - but those around you will be affected as well. They fester within and ripple without. Before you laugh about a “retard” think about those of us with mentally handicapped people in our families… before you degrade a “faggot” think about how many closeted faggots have made this world go around for thousands and thousands of years… Consider , the girl, who’s father is gay and proud, whom you love, and her conflictions… She would not be the girl you loved without that father. 

Consider the impact of your thoughts and feelings, and take time to examine where they are coming from. Take true responsibility for them. Your fears will consume you. Those of us with gay family members find gay conspiracy theories absolutely absurd! Gays are taking over??

Last week it was the Illuminati.

When will we realize that it is ONLY our OWN fears, hates, and prejudices that are TRULY the culprits?

there will be more…

Your Flaws, My Focus

I focus on myself Because you have too much drama You are too distracting And You have no Almighty You always disappear You always disappoint I focus on my work Because you use my time for your amusement, if I allow it You are mentally unstable You are always sick I focus on my wellness Because you always give up You don’t take a chance And you can’t leave your mommy I focus on laughter Because you always got something up your sleeve You sold your soul You abandoned your son You raped me I focus on my home Because you never did You can’t sit still You are a mess I focus on love Because you deserve at least that You are too busy chasing a dream to love those who love you Your heart turned cold when ur father died Your mom just passed You avoid Your flaws help me know my focus

Freezing Over

I wonder if this is what a lake feels like

as it 

freezes over

the numbness sets in

but i can feel

as the cells begin

to stiffen

the parts of me that are still

alive

fight to win 

they seek warmth

whether in the arms of a loved one

or under the covers

but when left alone

in the cold

it seeps

it creeps

in to MY living parts

the cold can be a lover

who so easily throws me away

the cold can be too many days w/o the laughter of my children

the cold can be too much time a lone with my thoughts

it takes me

cell by itty bitty cell

i barely notice 

until it gets to my heart

wherein

i cannot let another in.

i barely see it

until it reaches my smile

when the laughter i craved

hasn’t been experienced

in a long long while.

i barely notice how frozen

i have become

until out of loneliness

baron 

i hear a *snap*

and look around

only to find that it is my own

bones creaking from under-usage

if my lake was full, it could never freeze

only a lake left alone has the ability to freeze over…

only a lake left alone, has the ability to freeze.

Over.

~Ms Peep Game

Dec. 3, 2010

to find. the. rest.

my desire to escape has become my incessant curious pondering. why do i wanna go so badly? where? for what?

what is it that i believe is on the other side… of - this??

when i sleep, i go there. the beautiful. the peace. and miss it when i awake. it’s only temporary-that state.

so i hop around. from state to state. really trying to find that place. the sub-state. do you know? how i get there? the way…?

the journey, that seems to be the journey back to yesterdays and tomorrows and, slips like sands from my fingertips at every touch…

i awake, in a cold sweat. dry. thirsty. nothing like the abundance i just had in my REMs. nothing like the abundant joy and love i know IS.

looking for souls, in the eyes of the people i pass. but they just walk. pass. cold. dead. walking dead. WHERE IS THE WARMTH? i crave.

i move to a warmer state. awake, searching. more. there i find others, searching too. for their DREAM STATE. but where are we? where is it?

lost.

and they call me “ambitious”… i call me, restless. relentless.

that means that, even as the living dead pass me like zombies. even as they try to kill every glimmer in my eyes. as they await my death

as proof, that life really is nothing more than the darkness, the death of the dream state…

in a methodical frenzy, i am passionately driven.

to find. the. rest.

~MsPeepGame~

October 28th, 2010 

2:30 AM